Psychologist Adam Grant brought languishing into the zeitgeist with a New York Times piece that hit home for so many of us more than a year into a global pandemic. He describes the phenomenon as a “sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.” Great. The term, new to many of us, is not new to sociologist Corey Keyes. His research, Grant writes, determined that people currently languishing are the ones most likely to develop “major depression and anxiety disorders in the next decade.” But, as licensed mental health counselor Genesis Games told Parade, languishing can be trickier to identify in real life. “Unless you are trained in mental health or have experience with other mental health concerns, languishing can look a lot like persistent depressive disorder, formerly known as dysthymia,” she said. “People who are experiencing languishing might have a harder time getting started on or completing tasks, or appear uninterested in certain activities they have enjoyed in the past. However, their overall functioning is not impaired. We need to think about mental health in a spectrum instead of all or nothing.” Nearly one in five adults in the United States live with a mental illness, but the pandemic has had an impact not only on those already dealing with things like anxiety or depression but even those who previously were not, too. Psychotherapist Meg Gitlin told Parade languishing is a term she and her colleagues are collectively working to get a firm grasp on, echoing Games’ assessment that on its own, it sounds not unlike dysthymia. “To me, languishing is about context,” she said. “It describes a collective feeling of ‘blah’ that has become common after a year plus of COVID, and is especially notable because it’s being reported by people who previously never felt this way.” In that sense, though, it differentiates itself from dysthymia. Whereas persistent depressive disorder is well, persistent, languishing is more situational, pegged to the current state of the world and our reactions to it. “Without context, the symptoms could present in a way not dissimilar to what I think of when I see dysthymia,” she said. “Languishing, though, can be described as ‘going through the motions but still completing the necessary tasks. Dysthymia is chronic and typically negatively impacts relationships, work, school and daily functioning.”
If languishing perfectly describes how you feel right now, here’s how to pull yourself out
So, if you find yourself in this largely uncharted territory of mental health, feeling a sense of disinterest in the world re-opening, a lack of excitement for doing activities or a general dullness, what can you do to help pull yourself out of it? Both Gitlin and Games have some tips. “I would encourage people to change up their environment,” Gitlin said. “Following a year plus of being confined to our homes and the very real burnout that accompanies living and working in the same place, I’ve seen clients gain a greater sense of purpose and motivation when they find alternate spaces to spend time during the day. Perhaps this mean renting out a co-working space by the hour or sitting on a colleague or friend’s couch instead of their own. The act of getting up in the morning with a destination is therapeutic and helps break up the sense of monotony characterized by languishing.” Gitlin also recommends starting to plan smaller things, like drinks with a friend, a weekend away or a staycation, citing that while it might not be the same as planning for a big trip or event, having something to look forward to “can provide a much-needed relief to the day to day WFH drudgery.” Another thing that is hugely important but often overlooked is the kindness we show ourselves. We have endured so much collective loss this year, we cannot forget to treat ourselves with compassion and empathy. “Set boundaries with work and other obligations in our lives to ensure we have time for self-care,” Games said. “Make sure we are taking care of our needs, eating, sleeping, taking vitamins, exercising, talking to a loved one. Remain flexible to constant changes and understand the entire world has been living through a pandemic, not just us.” Finally, acknowledgment, acceptance, and going at your own pace can help in pulling yourself out of the feeling both during the pandemic and as the world starts to open back up again. “Accept that you are just starting to emerge from this pandemic and it may take a while to feel more normal. Try not to judge yourself for not ‘snapping back’ and recognize that not only is it normal to feel this way, but it’s also human. There’s no reason to rush back into life as it was pre-pandemic. We aren’t the same people we were before and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s likely this feeling will pass with time, patience and proper self-care. but if you feel that something more is going on that resembles depression, it’s a great time to seek out the care of a therapist or mental health professional. " Next up, what COVID embarrassment is and what to do if you’re dealing with it.
Sources
The New York Times: There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called LanguishingMeg Gitlin, psychotherapistGenesis Games, licensed mental health counselorNational Institute of Mental Health: Mental Illness
